


Water Hot Is A Noble Thing

by sirsparklepants



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Jaskier is a little shit, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24867358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirsparklepants/pseuds/sirsparklepants
Summary: If anyone would make up a song about baths to irritate Geralt into stopping for one, it would be Jaskier.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Water Hot Is A Noble Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics both from Tolkien's Bath Song, which was frankly absolutely necessary to put into a fic for this fandom.

It wasn't a particularly cold day, or a long one, but it had been a grubby one. Yesterday they'd kicked up nothing but dust from the road and then been forced to take shelter early when ominous storm clouds rolled in. They ate a dinner of dry rations and huddled together under a makeshift tent of oiled cloth with Roach, and the rain went on all night, on and off. Today's travel had been exceedingly muddy, and Jaskier had complained about it at least once an hour since they started out. As soon as Geralt saw (and smelled) the smoke from a small town's cookfires, he knew he was in for it now, no matter how small the pile of gold between them grew.

Sure enough, Jaskier carefully wiped down his hands and then took his lute from its case. "You know, Geralt, this reminds me," he said, "I wrote a song especially for you."

"Again?" Geralt said, turning to look down at him.

Jaskier sputtered. "Yes, again! Do you think I'm content to rest on my laurels, remembered for only one great work?"

Geralt raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you?"

"I am surely not!" Jaskier said, indignance written all over his face. "Anyway, those songs were _about_ you, not for you. It's different." He placed his fingers on the strings.

Geralt hummed and refused to acknowledge the warmth he felt at that. He'd regret it, and did, as soon as Jaskier started playing.

" _Sing hey! for the bath at the close of day, that washes the weary mud away,_ " he sang, grinning mischievously at Geralt and splashing up spray from a mud puddle. " _A loon is he that will not sing: oh, water hot is a noble thing!"_ He wriggled his eyebrows and danced almost in front of Roach. Geralt groaned.

" _Oh, sweet is the sound of the falling rain_  
_and the brook that leaps from hill to plain;_  
_but better than rain or rippling streams_  
_is Water Hot that smokes and steams._ "

Two verses was enough, Geralt thought, watching the bard carol joyfully as Roach snorted at the loud, ridiculous human too close to her feet. It was enough nonsense to make his point, wasn't it? But apparently not. Jaskier had never learned the meaning of restraint.

" _Oh, water cold we may pour at need down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed_ ," Jaskier sang, skipping back and forth and splashing through the mud, " _but better is beer if drink we lack and water hot poured down the back!_ " He winked at Geralt, big and showy.

"Enough!" Geralt snapped when he kept playing as if to go on. He had been trying not to think about a hot bath since noon, when the mud began to dry on his trousers in patches and the road dust itched on his scalp. Jaskier's song didn't help his longing for one, and now for a beer as well. "We'll stop for a bath, but you're paying for it!"

Jaskier grinned up at him. "It would be my unparalleled pleasure," he said.

Later, with Jaskier smelling only of soap and vaguely of himself, Geralt sat back in the tub and let the bard stroke soapy hands through his hair. He was humming, that same song from earlier, and presently, he broke out into song again. This time, it was quiet, less boisterous, and Geralt's shoulders dropped.

" _Oh, water is fair that leaps on high in a fountain white beneath the sky_ ," Jaskier sang, shielding Geralt's eyes as he gently rinsed out the soap, " _but never did fountain sound so sweet as splashing hot water with my feet!_ " He used the ends of Geralt's hair to splash a little bit in the tub, then laughed quietly to himself before fetching the vinegar. Geralt grunted and then settled. It did feel good to be clean. And the song wasn't so bad, if the bard wasn't using it to terrorize him.

He did, of course, again and again, whenever he felt either of them could use a good hot bath. But Geralt hadn't expected anything else. And if this was the song Jaskier wrote for him, one to chivvy him into enjoying one of his few pleasures more often, it wasn't so bad at all.


End file.
